Remember how Katy Perry‘s mom was shopping around a book about how she thinks her daughter is Satan’s whore and that she’s going to hell, all while riding her to fame and fortune? Yeah, that hasn’t changed at all. They’re now pretty much basing their entire ministry around their daughter, even going so far as to say that she and her husband, Russell Brand are going to hell.

Their services repeatedly namecheck Perry and her husband, Russell Brand, the English comic with a lurid past of drug addiction and rampant promiscuity. In his London sermon, it’s an odd mix of boastful exhilaration (“Anyone here heard of Russell Brand? He’s my son in law. I love Russell. He’s a wonderful man.”) and overwrought condescension (“We pray for him — pray for the entertainers.”) The fundamental message, however, is simple: Keith and Mary disapprove of their daughter and her peculiar husband, but by God they are enjoying the attention. Take Keith’s recent performance in Hertfordshire, England, scene of that extraordinary exclamation: “I kissed God — and I liked it!” Tears in his eyes, he went on: “I understand the burden of having a daughter or son that is not serving God. When my daughter came out and sang that song, ‘I kissed a girl, and I liked it.’ I said, ‘My ministry is over.’ SOURCE

Gosh, that’s nice. You know, father’s day is coming up this weekend, and I wouldn’t really hold it against Katy if she got her dad an active grenade. “Oh look! A package from our paycheck, Katy? Awwww, isn’t that sweet, our money sent us an antique grenade! … That’s weird, don’t these things usually have a pin in them? *KABOOM*”

Nice to see Katy Perry‘s still getting some mileage out of Teenage Dream (admittedly, a pretty good album with a lot of tracks that could be considered singles), and the video for her new single, Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) has hit the web! And you know what? I like it. It features Katy Perry in all her geeky glory (as Kathy Beth Terry) showing off her comedy chops, which are surprisingly … not bad actually. It also stars Rebecca Black, who is WAY too young to be throwing a house party, Darren Criss, Kevin McHale, Debbie Gibson and Corey Feldman. Oh, and Kenny G is here, which is strange because I thought you could only summon him by placing the blood of a virgin over his tomb. Unless … *GASP* You monsters!

Remember how Kris Humphries gave Kim Kardashian a $ 2 Million dollar engagement ring, despite the fact that you can cover a Ford Pinto in diamonds but at the end of the day, it’s still a turd on wheels? Well funny thing about that … it turns out, walking around with the equivalent of a house on your finger is a bit of a hassle, so Kim is comissioning a replica of the ring using a cubic zirconia, so now she can have all the attention at only a fraction of the cost!

“Kim is having a replica of her ring made,” a source close to the situation tells RadarOnline.com. “It’s going to be perfect and really difficult to detect that it’s a fake to the untrained eye. But, it will be a huge weight off of Kim’s mind. Walking around wearing a ring that’s worth around half the value of her house worries her sick, but at the same time she wants to wear the ring all the time. Kim is totally in love with it, as she is Kris, and she wants to show it off. This, she believes, is the perfect solution. She will wear the real thing when she goes to special events or when she feels comfortable, but when she’s just tooling around she can wear her ‘decoy.’” SOURCE

Thank you, Kim Kardashian, for providing us with the absolute perfect analogy for you. I mean, a beautiful ring that happens to be an utter fake and is just a lesser, cheaper knock-off of the real thing that we turn to because it’s easier? Seriously, have you become self-aware or something, because that is just GOLD.